Be Silent and Feel Yourself

There is something inside us that is beyond the body and the mind. It is neither physical nor mental, it is pure presence. When you come to know this presence for the first time, you know you are, for the first time you feel yourself, that you exist. And this presence is the ultimate experience because it is the Ultimate Reality, it is the Truth. As this feeling of presence deepens, you begin to feel that it is not inside you, it is you. Further, this presence knows no birth nor death, it never grows nor decays; it always remains what it is, it is constant. As you are rooted into this presence, you know everything that is worth knowing in this Existence.
In order to know this presence, the first thing you have to do is to be silent. The more you are silent, the more you feel this presence. Generally, people are afraid of silence. Why so? It is because most of the people define themselves either as names or forms or through some ideology, some thought process or some emotions. What are you? You believe that you have a name or you are a man or a woman or head of the family, so on and so forth. Somehow you are always occupied. For a moment, stop reading this article and imagine: you have no name, no body, no thoughts, no ideology, no ideas, no notions; your mind is absolutely empty. What would you be then? A nothingness. This is the whole fear. This nothingness is so frightening because it gives a feeling of death. Silence is as fearful because it is also a kind of nothingness. In death everything disappears, everything is destroyed–name is destroyed, form is destroyed; everything is gone. So in silence all disappears. Quite often, and unconsciously, silence and death are taken synonymously. Hence, silence has been avoided by people because it is a death-like experience. Most of the meditators have this experience that in meditation they are dying.
Because silence is considered to be like death, even the very social environment is against silence. Whenever a person is silent, his loved ones get worried. They start feeling that something is wrong with the person. Doesn’t it happen with you also? Sometimes, if a friend or an acquaintance is sad and quiet and not talking, what do you feel? The first thought is that there is something wrong. A student of mine started meditating intensely. As her meditation deepened, she could not speak much. Gradually she became silent. She would speak very little; that made her friends very uncomfortable. So, once her friends brought her to me. They were very concerned about her. I told them: “Let her be. If she doesn’t want to talk, what’s the problem? Why can’t you accept this? Why is talking necessary in a relationship? Why can’t we communicate through silence?” But because the mind is socially conditioned, it was very hard for them to understand that two people can be together without talking. It is very often observed that silent people are considered unhappy.
You need to understand that silence is unlike being morose, sulky, or withdrawn within your shell. It is an altogether different quality. It is very alive. Because in silence you feel that there is nothing to speak about, this is why you simply keep quiet. You don’t speak not because you are unhappy, not because your pain is too much to express; silence means you simply exist.
The anti-silence social atmosphere is a major barrier in creating silence. Often, when we are bothered with so many questions and queries, we prefer to be vocal, we prefer to speak to avoid this pestering. But this is not going to help. It is better to work on silence.
First of all, you have to work on inner silence. The false fear of so-called death arises only because you have believed that you have a name or form, you have certain concepts and identities. Face this fear. Go through it. Watch it. When it comes, do not let anything be there, let it be there. Let it overwhelm you. Do not run away from it. It is a false fear. Once you take courage to feel this fear, it cannot stand long, it will simply vanish. In fact, it was never there.
Facing this fear will reveal to you that which is beyond name and form. That is the very source of Life. It never dies. It is the Life, the deathless life. It is eternal. And IT IS YOU. Tat twam asi, Thou Art That. Whatever you know about yourself–name or form–is going to be destroyed. But the Source will never be destroyed.
Whenever you are alone, try to be alone. Just be without any form, without any fantasy or dream, without cursing anybody, without criticising anybody, without the past, without the future, without missing anybody, without wishing anything…Just empty yourself of all this. That is the meaning of being alone. Secondly, when in human company, try to speak as less as possible. It will be hard in the beginning, because people will find it hard to adjust with you. But, then, it is there problem, not yours. So be conscious. Resolve that you will speak as little as possible. Where a shake can do, do not say “No”; where a nod can do, do not say “Yes”. Be thrifty with words. Do not be afraid that you will left alone. Those who love you will accept you with your silence also and those who walk away were never there with you at all, so there presence or absence hardly matters. What matters most is that you deepen your silence.
As your silence intensifies, you will start feeling that you are. Read these words very carefully–you may miss them because they are very simple–: in your silence you start feeling that you are, simply you exist. And when you start feeling yourself, for the first time you know how valuable you are, and how much you had neglected yourself. It is because of this negligence you have suffered so much. Once you start feeling yourself, their is no misery.
The more you feel yourself, the more you feel others also. We hardly feel the presence of others in our life. Because we are unconscious, our eyes are closed, that is why we are aware of others. Or we have become so used to them, we take them for granted. Silence will open your eyes and you will feel the presence of those who are close to you. Not only those close by, you will start feeling all the living and non-living creatures: ants, insects, plants, birds, rocks, your table, mobile, car, everything! This feeling will fill you with a lot of energy because everything is full of energy, every living, non-living being is filled with tremendous energy. This capacity to feel things will bless you with energy. Moreover, your touch, your capacity to feel will help others also feel themselves. Then it will be a mutual sharing of feeling. The more and more it happens, the more and more alive you will feel.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *