Not Trusting VS Not Expecting

Trust is the soul of a relationship. Any relationship rooted in it flourishes well. Those who share trust together feel restful in it. Unfortunately, a trustworthy person is rare to find. Most often, the people we trust let us down filling our hearts with bitterness. As a result we grow distrustful of everybody. However, the real cause of this bitterness is excess expectations. Let us try to understand this interconnection between trust and expectation and how it affects human relationships.
Humans are company-loving creatures. In each of us there is an innate desire to find someone to share our mind and heart with, someone who can listen to us patiently, who can be there always. The care and sensitivity with which friends/lovers treat each other is filled with such beauty and warmth. Eventually, an interdependence is built between, which brings them closer.

However, instead of deepening with time, most relationships begin to fall apart and finally fail, and frustration is its natural result. But more harmful than frustration is the change is our attitude towards the rest of the world. The welcoming and accepting heart is pushed aside and the cunning and calculating mind takes over. It judges every new comer in our lives with caution and doubt. And this is what people call wisdom! ‘The experienced’ think they have better sense of judgment now. But what does this better judgment teach them? To be suspicious of everybody and everything?
In fact, those who have lost trust have to live isolated. They are shut up within themselves with ‘No Entry’ writ large on their doors.
Many of you must be wondering: “How can we still trust people after having been let down repeatedly?” But ask yourself what has let you down: the person or your expectations from him/her? Weren’t you expecting from him/her to behave in a certain way, but he/she acted otherwise and you felt let down? Such expectations turn trust into a sort of pact, a conditional bond. I know some expectations are natural in that they are encouraged by mutual love and affection. Unfortunately, few are conscious enough to understand it. As a result, a relationship ends up in misery. It seems that all relationships are fated to cause suffering. A burnt child dreads fire. So do we. Many times I was let down in my life, and I was hurt and broken. It began to drain my tender sensitivity away and I grew hard and callous. Then one day I realized that just a little change in my approach to the problem could work miracles. The energy that was feeding doubt and mistrust could actually nourish my self-trust and self-reliance. That day, between not choosing and not expecting, I chose the latter. Ever since I have been calm and joyful. And I can freely share my joy with others without expecting anything in return. Above all, I have learnt to be responsible towards myself. Truly, one has to strive oneself to discover one’s own happiness.
In a nutshell, trust sustains life. How lovingly and patiently parched earth trusts that clouds will come to quench it! Birds and animals, trees and plants, the sun, the moon, all are interconnected with an unbreakable bond of trust. If they can trust life, why can’t we?

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